Why im a phantom
Kay , here's the thing . Eventhough its the 2nd month of school , im already packed ! as in really PACKED !
Mondays , Wednesdays and Fridays are the days I go for tuition , till 5.30 . And when I come home, I spend my time with my parents cause later at night , ill have to study . That makes me have less time with them .
Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days that I have hockey at 3.30 till bout 6.30 . After that , Ill watch SpaQ and pray while i still have the small gap of time .
And as usual , every night at 8-10.30ish , its my prep time . Its where I study and do my homework . Its also where I do my researh for Science teacher .
Saturdays are packed with cocuriculum activites . Sundays are the days where I study and I'd have to go to turf for hockey practice . It is also the day where I spend time with my family .
In school , its all about duty and studies . I plan to keep it that way (:
So , as you can see , I dont have slots for friends . In school , I miss classes thnks to the prefects . So when I do , I have to focus during my tuition time which is the time that I told mama I would use to relax a bit on the studying part as im with my friends .
But there , I only have about 5-6 friends .
No matter how high my goals are , if i do achieve it , it won't be fun celebrating it without my friends . With friends , its all about me . They have to negotiate my time of duty in school and after school activites . But , I have to think for them as well . Not even one of them open up to me this year and told me their feelings . Its as if , there's no point of living . I know , i have my parents , the bestest friends i could ever get . But , they're not going through what Im going through now . They went through all the suffering before I did . So , i pratically live independent . Laugh independent . Breath independently .
Its not fun and it is hard to keep up with everyone . This is also where phone bill comes up . Which I technically get scolded for . I know its my parents money , but , it doesnt really effect me . Cause , if my phone bill doesnt go high , i will absolutely have no time for friends at all ! For the sake of PMR , im not hanging out with them already . But im trying my best to divide time with friends .
So , when I call . I don't just go staring at the wall while talking , im actually drawing science diagram homeworks , art homeworks , things that doesnt involve my brain to understand and memorize .
The problem that Im having is convincing mama and papa what Im going through . I really hope they understand bout the phone bills and stuff eventough there are times where i feel like telling mama about the phone bill , but im scared if it gives her more trouble .About my friends , well , I just still have to work hard on dividing the right timing . For me , there's no use of being succesful with a bad name . Example , Eniza gets whatever she wants , results and stuff , but she's very sombong with us . She doesnt even talk to us . Even if she does , she'll ask your help instead . Help her to accomplish her duty at the canteen which is to clear the tables . Sometimes , she even gives you her items to take care of when she goes off for duty .
Im really sorry dear friends that I care , but im trying my best to balance time . People change , so can I . So , ill try my best not to bail on you guys . Thnks for backing me up always . I didnt mean to forget you guys or something , but its just that I havent stabilized my time properly , just yet .
And mama papa , im also thinking another way to communicate with friends instead of phone calls . Hehe . But hey , Im still a teenager again . And as im your 4th child , I think you guys already know what kind of situation im going through . its not a big problem that im going through , its just managing time (: thts all .
Again , thnks everyone for being there for me but I havent been doing the same thing for you guys . Ill pay your deeds , mama and papa , one day (:
Love you guys a lot ! Especially mum and dad <333
Mondays , Wednesdays and Fridays are the days I go for tuition , till 5.30 . And when I come home, I spend my time with my parents cause later at night , ill have to study . That makes me have less time with them .
Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days that I have hockey at 3.30 till bout 6.30 . After that , Ill watch SpaQ and pray while i still have the small gap of time .
And as usual , every night at 8-10.30ish , its my prep time . Its where I study and do my homework . Its also where I do my researh for Science teacher .
Saturdays are packed with cocuriculum activites . Sundays are the days where I study and I'd have to go to turf for hockey practice . It is also the day where I spend time with my family .
In school , its all about duty and studies . I plan to keep it that way (:
So , as you can see , I dont have slots for friends . In school , I miss classes thnks to the prefects . So when I do , I have to focus during my tuition time which is the time that I told mama I would use to relax a bit on the studying part as im with my friends .
But there , I only have about 5-6 friends .
No matter how high my goals are , if i do achieve it , it won't be fun celebrating it without my friends . With friends , its all about me . They have to negotiate my time of duty in school and after school activites . But , I have to think for them as well . Not even one of them open up to me this year and told me their feelings . Its as if , there's no point of living . I know , i have my parents , the bestest friends i could ever get . But , they're not going through what Im going through now . They went through all the suffering before I did . So , i pratically live independent . Laugh independent . Breath independently .
Its not fun and it is hard to keep up with everyone . This is also where phone bill comes up . Which I technically get scolded for . I know its my parents money , but , it doesnt really effect me . Cause , if my phone bill doesnt go high , i will absolutely have no time for friends at all ! For the sake of PMR , im not hanging out with them already . But im trying my best to divide time with friends .
So , when I call . I don't just go staring at the wall while talking , im actually drawing science diagram homeworks , art homeworks , things that doesnt involve my brain to understand and memorize .
The problem that Im having is convincing mama and papa what Im going through . I really hope they understand bout the phone bills and stuff eventough there are times where i feel like telling mama about the phone bill , but im scared if it gives her more trouble .About my friends , well , I just still have to work hard on dividing the right timing . For me , there's no use of being succesful with a bad name . Example , Eniza gets whatever she wants , results and stuff , but she's very sombong with us . She doesnt even talk to us . Even if she does , she'll ask your help instead . Help her to accomplish her duty at the canteen which is to clear the tables . Sometimes , she even gives you her items to take care of when she goes off for duty .
Im really sorry dear friends that I care , but im trying my best to balance time . People change , so can I . So , ill try my best not to bail on you guys . Thnks for backing me up always . I didnt mean to forget you guys or something , but its just that I havent stabilized my time properly , just yet .
And mama papa , im also thinking another way to communicate with friends instead of phone calls . Hehe . But hey , Im still a teenager again . And as im your 4th child , I think you guys already know what kind of situation im going through . its not a big problem that im going through , its just managing time (: thts all .
Again , thnks everyone for being there for me but I havent been doing the same thing for you guys . Ill pay your deeds , mama and papa , one day (:
Love you guys a lot ! Especially mum and dad <333
posted by Eniza Fasiha bte Ellias at
5:35 AM
2 Comments:
i think u r actually going thru the missing mama and papa after 2 days not around u. I think sometimes when we r not there than u realize how it is like. anyway tks alot for thinking of us. About the phone bill, i have not commented anything yet, yet to see the amount. Love u always n will always try to understand our children at all times. Just give us the support and understand us as we are trying the best.
It's funny when I see a teenager's schedule nowadays - I'd get a shock over how pack and stressful it is...Actually, when I was in boarding school, it was just as pack but I didn't really feel it, hehe...
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